the168

Young children have no real concept of time.

Young children have no real concept of time especially in the morning, it appears, when everyone needs to be somewhere at a very specific time.

Independence, interrupted

My eldest son has been particular about his sense of fashion ever since he was two and a half years old, which I encouraged as a way to build independence. “You know what you want,” I’d say. “You go get it from your dresser, my love.”

The problem was that it would take him over thirty minutes to “go get it” and put it on himself – not because he struggled with the task, but because he became distracted. He would daydream and do anything but choose his clothes: make faces in the mirror, flip through books, play with Duplo, sing, dance, talk nonstop.

I couldn’t leave him alone either, because that almost always resulted in a major tantrum. And it wasn’t that I was afraid of my child getting upset – it was that I didn’t want to spend extra time dealing with long, drawn-out tantrums if they could be avoided altogether.

So I stayed with my son, encouraging him to get dressed more quickly and reminding him what would come next. I even tried turning the whole process into a game, hoping to get him excited about getting dressed faster.

Did it work?

You can guess.

Eventually I would lose my patience and start yelling. I felt horrible about it, but at the time I didn’t know what to do.

Turning to the Hivemind

I wanted to know if I was alone in this – you know, the classic parenting spiral: “Is it just my child? Am I doing something wrong? Why is this so hard?”

So I made a post in a Facebook group for parents of children born the same summer as my son. I asked whether they experienced something similar, and if so, how they handled it. The number of comments was astonishing. No, I definitely wasn’t alone.

Some parents admitted they were sending their children to daycare still wearing the pajamas they had slept in the night before, simply because they couldn’t handle the morning battles anymore. Others (surprisingly many!) put the next day’s clothes on their child at bedtime, so when morning came, the child was already dressed. Yet other parents turned it into a competition with younger siblings to see who could get dressed first (I tried that one and it backfired for us, so I wouldn’t recommend it). One late respondent shared that they simply kept their patience and gave their child all the time they needed to complete the task, approaching the morning in the gentlest way possible.

It was my least favourite comment. How could I take it seriously, when I had been enjoying the warmth of communal misery and humour with other struggling parents? It was my least favourite comment, yet it became the beacon I chose to orient myself by.

The Aha Moment

“Are there still ways I could make this fun for him?” I wondered. Could there be a game that didn’t involve fierce competition (and the flood of big emotions that followed)?

That’s when it clicked: visual cues. He follows the numbers. He guesses the words. He can follow the cues independently, instead of me telling him what to do.

I spent that afternoon creating a poster in Canva, listing the clothing items in order and adding visual cues. I printed it out and taped it on the mirror in front of his dresser.

It made a huge difference for us. With the poster in place, mornings suddenly didn’t feel like a battle of wills. Having all the clothing items in one place helped my son better manage his time, seeing how many items were left on the list before the task was complete. He was excited to move on to the next item and looked proud of accomplishing the tasks on his own.

If your child struggles with getting dressed in the morning, this poster might help them too – giving you a little extra calm and giving them a sense of independence. I’ve shared it here so you can try it out in your own home:

P.S. I originally had items 1–5, but my son insisted there should be a 0: taking PJs off. Math lessons are always welcome!

If you know a parent who could use a little calmer, happier morning routine, feel free to share this post – or the poster – with them!

And if you’re curious for more tips on simplifying your morning routine, check out my post: Two Simple Tricks That Actually Help My Kids Eat More Veggies and Fruits.